My hands tend to feel cold on a daily basis, and I often find myself apologizing to clients for the initial chill when I touch them. Interestingly, there are moments when, as I focus on specific areas requiring extra attention, my hands suddenly heat up. It's as if I've tapped into a fire within, maybe Kundalini energy releasing it like a valve. The heat spreads through my hands and entire body, while I wait patiently as waves of warmth—and often other sensations—flow over me until the body releases.
These sensations vary. Sometimes they feel like a mild electrical current or a deep pulsation; other times, it's an emotional release—a surge of sadness, anger, or even nausea. I know these emotions aren’t mine, but rather, they’re simply passing through. Occasionally, it can be tricky to discern whether these feelings originate from me or are something I'm processing on behalf of others, especially when there is a delay.
This heightened sensitivity isn’t new to me. Since childhood, I’ve been attuned to the emotions and physical pains of others. It was overwhelming, especially before I understood what was happening. When I worked in healthcare or was in relationships with someone unwell, I struggled even more. Conventional medicine didn’t offer much guidance, often labeling me a hypochondriac and suggesting psychotherapy or pharmaceuticals. But it wasn’t until I hit rock bottom in my own health struggles that I began to understand.
My journey of healing led me to the Andes, where a shaman introduced me to the idea that everything is energy. She encouraged me to embrace the fire within and learn how to channel it. That experience changed everything. Eventually, I found the Edgar Cayce School of Massage Therapy, where I started to understand the Kundalini energy flowing through me, especially through my hands, and how to work with it rather than fear it. While I became proficient at handling this energy with clients, I still found it challenging to navigate the emotions and energies of everyday interactions with family and friends.
One of my ongoing challenges has been maintaining self-awareness. After years of not knowing what emotions were mine and what belonged to others, I developed a habit of detaching from my feelings. Sometimes, it feels like I’ve mastered the art of hiding from myself. My mind often escapes from stress, but my body always finds a way to make me aware—like a canary in the coal mine.
This is why I returned to Kundalini Yoga. Kundalini Yoga is unique—it uses breathwork, chanting, and specific poses to ignite the energy, or fire, within and move it upwards through the body. This process brings deeper awareness, perception, and connection to the self.
True healing comes from within, and awareness is the foundation of all healing. Without awareness, we cannot fully heal.
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